Winter holidays often come with many expectations in our culture. Cozy togetherness, matching pajamas, gatherings with family, parties with co-workers and friends. It’s a season of preparation. We plan, we shop, we bake, we select gifts, we wrap them carefully. We look forward with anticipation to sharing love and connection within our most special relationships.Continue reading “The Private Hell of Holidays in a Neurodiverse Marriage”
Category Archives: ASD perspective
The Criminalization of Emotion in Neurodiverse Marriages
Alexithymia is a condition in which one struggles to identify and verbalize emotion. It is closely associated with autism, as approximately half of ASD individuals meet criteria for alexithymia. The absence of emotional awareness from an ASD husband is a significant issue within neurodiverse marriages, as the disparity between himself and his neurotypical wife isContinue reading “The Criminalization of Emotion in Neurodiverse Marriages”
The Authoritarian Father & Stupid Child in a ND marriage
In some neurodiverse marriages, a father-daughter dynamic develops early on in the relationship. The ASD partner appoints himself as the authority figure, devolving over time into micromanaging his wife. It’s important to note that this type of parental interplay is highly different from the mother-son dynamic in ND marriages. What factors contribute to the father-daughterContinue reading “The Authoritarian Father & Stupid Child in a ND marriage”
The tyranny of ASD rules in a neurodiverse marriage
ASD individuals are often very uncomfortable with change, and have a strong need for predictability. Black and white thinking that is common with autism also lends itself to narrow ideas about the way in which life should happen. In a marriage, rigid inflexibility can begin to feel like a dictatorship for the neurotypical wife whenContinue reading “The tyranny of ASD rules in a neurodiverse marriage”
Why do ASD husbands experience neurotypical feelings as an attack?
The communication difficulties between NT/ASD partners is usually a primary source of conflict, hurt and misunderstanding. The neurotypical wife feels very isolated and hopeless when the ASD husband is unable to receive her feelings and perspective. A neurotypical woman needs her intimate partner to be her softest place to land, the primary spot where sheContinue reading “Why do ASD husbands experience neurotypical feelings as an attack?”