Winter holidays often come with many expectations in our culture. Cozy togetherness, matching pajamas, gatherings with family, parties with co-workers and friends. It’s a season of preparation. We plan, we shop, we bake, we select gifts, we wrap them carefully. We look forward with anticipation to sharing love and connection within our most special relationships.Continue reading “The Private Hell of Holidays in a Neurodiverse Marriage”
Tag Archives: neurodiverse love
The Missed Experiences of Cassandra’s Life
Trauma events, while painful to discuss, can be articulated to empathic listeners. It’s possible to describe what happened to us with great detail, including the distress we experienced during and after the event. But what happens when we are traumatized by non-events? Just as neglect is difficult to characterize, so too is the absence ofContinue reading “The Missed Experiences of Cassandra’s Life”
The Special Interest of Every Neurotypical Wife
After being discarded as the special interest of her ASD husband, the neurotypical wife is desperate to understand what is happening. She becomes obsessed with decoding her autistic spouse, though ASD may not even be on her radar for months or even years. She tirelessly strives to understand his myriad of unfamiliar behaviors that ultimatelyContinue reading “The Special Interest of Every Neurotypical Wife”
The harm of minimizing neglect in a neurodiverse marriage
In our society, the concept of physical abuse is perceived as more egregious than other forms of abuse, and certainly more heinous than the idea of neglect. If a woman has been physically harmed, it is more universally accepted as intolerable behavior from an intimate partner. Outsiders to the marriage have an easier time imaginingContinue reading “The harm of minimizing neglect in a neurodiverse marriage”
Sensory Issues & Sex in a Neurodiverse Marriage
Sensory issues can be the root of much heartbreak in the sexual dynamics of a marital relationship between a neurotypical wife and her ASD husband. Neurotypical wives often come to me with a deep sense of shame, despair and sorrow that they have not had sex with their autistic husbands in years. Some will shareContinue reading “Sensory Issues & Sex in a Neurodiverse Marriage”