The Missed Experiences of Cassandra’s Life

Trauma events, while painful to discuss, can be articulated to empathic listeners. It’s possible to describe what happened to us with great detail, including the distress we experienced during and after the event. But what happens when we are traumatized by non-events? Just as neglect is difficult to characterize, so too is the absence ofContinue reading “The Missed Experiences of Cassandra’s Life”

The Surrogate Mother & Defiant Child in a ND Marriage

Healthy spouses have no desire to parent each other. They want a reciprocal partner, lover, companion, and equal. Ideally, a marriage is complementary. Both partners bring different strengths and gifts to the relationship, contributing equally to the care and maintenance of the marriage – but not the upkeep, nor management, of the other person. HealthyContinue reading “The Surrogate Mother & Defiant Child in a ND Marriage”

The harm of minimizing neglect in a neurodiverse marriage

In our society, the concept of physical abuse is perceived as more egregious than other forms of abuse, and certainly more heinous than the idea of neglect. If a woman has been physically harmed, it is more universally accepted as intolerable behavior from an intimate partner. Outsiders to the marriage have an easier time imaginingContinue reading “The harm of minimizing neglect in a neurodiverse marriage”

Sensory Issues & Sex in a Neurodiverse Marriage

Sensory issues can be the root of much heartbreak in the sexual dynamics of a marital relationship between a neurotypical wife and her ASD husband. Neurotypical wives often come to me with a deep sense of shame, despair and sorrow that they have not had sex with their autistic husbands in years. Some will shareContinue reading “Sensory Issues & Sex in a Neurodiverse Marriage”

Where do we draw the line in a Neurodiverse Marriage?

We know that ASD partners have different neurology. They are more susceptible to overwhelm from daily life in a world of neurotypical expectations. How do we integrate this awareness into our marriages and families, while still holding boundaries of what is and is not acceptable behavior? Examples of reasons an ASD husband may feel burdenedContinue reading “Where do we draw the line in a Neurodiverse Marriage?”