Physical intimacy within a neurodiverse marriage is often problematic. While not a universal problem, it is frequently a devastating reality. Various circumstances contribute to sexual dysfunction in an AS-NT marriage. (Sensory issues and porn addiction are frequently contributing factors, discussed in more detail here and here.) Additionally, two often overlooked components of sexual dysfunction areContinue reading “Alexithymia, Mind-blindness & Sexual Dysfunction in ASD-NT Marriages”
Tag Archives: PTSd
The Missed Experiences of Cassandra’s Life
Trauma events, while painful to discuss, can be articulated to empathic listeners. It’s possible to describe what happened to us with great detail, including the distress we experienced during and after the event. But what happens when we are traumatized by non-events? Just as neglect is difficult to characterize, so too is the absence ofContinue reading “The Missed Experiences of Cassandra’s Life”
The Extended Family System of a Neurodiverse Marriage
Partners in a neurodiverse marriage often have families of origin with various complexities, many of which may impact the marital life in significant ways. For neurotypical wives, the most difficult aspect is the lack of support from extended family members. When families of origin aren’t burdened by pervasive mental health disorders, addictions, generational trauma, neurodiversityContinue reading “The Extended Family System of a Neurodiverse Marriage”
The Surrogate Mother & Defiant Child in a ND Marriage
Healthy spouses have no desire to parent each other. They want a reciprocal partner, lover, companion, and equal. Ideally, a marriage is complementary. Both partners bring different strengths and gifts to the relationship, contributing equally to the care and maintenance of the marriage – but not the upkeep, nor management, of the other person. HealthyContinue reading “The Surrogate Mother & Defiant Child in a ND Marriage”
The Special Interest of Every Neurotypical Wife
After being discarded as the special interest of her ASD husband, the neurotypical wife is desperate to understand what is happening. She becomes obsessed with decoding her autistic spouse, though ASD may not even be on her radar for months or even years. She tirelessly strives to understand his myriad of unfamiliar behaviors that ultimatelyContinue reading “The Special Interest of Every Neurotypical Wife”
The secrets that Cassandra keeps
The concept behind the name of Cassandra Syndrome is that a NT wife is sharing her reality with others, and being doubted. But what do her disclosures about the neurodiverse marriage really look like? To what degree is a neurotypical wife able to fully reveal the extent of her marital dynamic to others? A neurotypicalContinue reading “The secrets that Cassandra keeps”
The role of fear in the neurodiverse relationship
When the neurotypical wife marries her autistic husband after a dating period that was likely spent basking (unknowingly) in the role of his special interest, the attention of those early months or years is deeply imprinted upon her heart and mind. She is built for tenderness, connection and reciprocity. Having received such devotion for anContinue reading “The role of fear in the neurodiverse relationship”
Why does a neurotypical wife choose an ASD husband?
Many neurotypical wives struggle with understanding how they were drawn to choose their ASD partner, when so much of the marriage has been spent longing for emotional engagement. With highly empathic natures – how did they not recognize his difficulty with emotional reciprocity? Masking during the dating phase is very real, and certainly a significantContinue reading “Why does a neurotypical wife choose an ASD husband?”